Trinity 5 - Not how it goes

(The Gospel for the upcoming Sunday is Luke 5:1-11. What follows is not quite how it goes.)

One morning, when jesus was preaching, He became sad because he noticed that no one cared. So instead of preaching, he decided to head on out to the lake. There was a fisherman there named Simon, and Simon said to jesus, "jesus, I have a most successful business, let Me share with you My 5 secret strategies for growth. It will only cost you $500 per session."

jesus then said, "Um, i don't have that much cash, what can I get for a buck seventy five.'

Simon then said, "Okay, the first one is free. You've got to strike when the iron is hot. See Me, I'm not fishing now cause the fish aren't out. I'll wait until later. you need to do the same thing - don't have a church, have a trendy club looking place - people like going there. They'll show up if you get a DJ spinning an awesome beat."

jesus then was happy and said to Simon, "Well, i'm not afraid of losing my job now. Thanks to Your awesome strategy Simon, i'll be catching men!"

Simon smiled and said, "It's not that easy, but if you ever need to hire a Consultant, call Simon Peter, and I'll help you out."