The Gospel for the 3rd Sunday after Trinity is Luke 15:11-32. This isn't quite how it goes.
A man had two sons. The younger son said, "Dad, I wish you were dead so I could have my half of the estate." The father backhanded the boy and said, "There, you got one of my two hands. Be content with that." However, this younger son was clever, and he robbed his father of what the father would never have given and stole away in the night.
The younger son then basically blew through the money (it was over after he ran into Lindsey Lohan - just all down hill from there), and as he was scrounging away in an L.A. coffee shop, slinging Joe to skinny rich girls, longing to have their decaf lattes, he thought, "Wait a second, I should be sponging off of my dad like these broads are. . . how can I weasel my way back into his good graces?" So the younger son took remembered all the dirt he had experienced in his wild days and wrote a tell all book and appeared on TMZ. When the father saw his son on television, he said, "The boy is famous" and called him back home, where he welcomed him and his royalty checks.
The older son, heard this and was very upset because he had convinced his dad to drop the younger boy out of the will, and now the older son was worried that unless he did something neat, the younger son would get everything. So the older son went out wildcatting for oil, and his father sent him an e-mail and said, "You better find something, because your younger brother is earning his keep. Otherwise, don't bother coming home, cause you aren't worth my time" And the older son finally got sick of everything and moved to Europe to write lousy self-help novels, completely estranged from his family. Then when the father died, he celebrated because his foolish father had forgotten to change the will, but the younger son was okay because he still had his money from the Tabloids to live off of.
Showing posts with label Lectionary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lectionary. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
2nd Sunday of Trinity
The Gospel for the 2nd Sunday of Trinity is Luke 14:14-24. What follows isn't quite how it goes.
There was a man who was giving a feast, and when the feast was ready, he sent his servants inviting those who were invited saying, "Come to the feast." But they all alike made excuses. One said, "I have bought a field, please have me excused." Another said, "I've bought 5 yoke of oxen, please have me excused." And a third said, "I've just married a gal, and we ain't showing up."
When the servant returned to the master, the master was sad and said to himself, "I must be doing something wrong with my feast, otherwise more people would want to come." So he sent his servant to ask each of the people who refused the invitation what they would want in a feast, and the one said, "Pork" and the next said, "Shellfish", and the last said, "I'd like cheeseburgers." And the master said, "Even though we are Jewish and these are horrible things, I will make them - come to the feast." And still, they blew off the feast.
So he said to the servant, "Go, hire entertainers to wander around my feast, minstrels and jugglers, and then they will want to come." And so the minstrels sang bawdy songs and jugglers juggled and there was much spectacle, yet they still did not come to the feast.
So the master said, "I know, we will offer a nice, new cart to one of the people who arrives - the chance to win a cart, that will draw them in." And a few people looked in, but once they realized their ticket wasn't a winner, they left.
While this was happening, the lowly servants told their fellow poor and miserable of the wonders at the feast, and so the poor and the lowly showed up at the door and said to the master, "Might we partake of your feast, and we will do for you what we can." The master looked at them with disdain and said, "Um, this is a good feast for good people. Sorry, there's no room for you."
While the cooking continued, the wondrous smells of the feast drifted out to the highways, and strangers from a distant land smelled the feast, and so they came to the masters house and inquired of him what the feast was. But the master of the feast said, "You aren't the target demographic my feasting committee had in mind, so I don't think it would be good for you to be here - why don't you figure out a feast-team-leader from amongst yourselves and do whatever he tells you - maybe we'll even give you some scraps later on." And still the master pined for those who would not come, and he spent ever more time and effort trying to entice them to come, and soon his feast became a carnival, then a cart wash, then a tavern, then a finnancial advice center, then a social justice center that ignored the poor, all in the hopes of bringing those three in. And the master was well pleased with all his efforts at reaching the lost.
There was a man who was giving a feast, and when the feast was ready, he sent his servants inviting those who were invited saying, "Come to the feast." But they all alike made excuses. One said, "I have bought a field, please have me excused." Another said, "I've bought 5 yoke of oxen, please have me excused." And a third said, "I've just married a gal, and we ain't showing up."
When the servant returned to the master, the master was sad and said to himself, "I must be doing something wrong with my feast, otherwise more people would want to come." So he sent his servant to ask each of the people who refused the invitation what they would want in a feast, and the one said, "Pork" and the next said, "Shellfish", and the last said, "I'd like cheeseburgers." And the master said, "Even though we are Jewish and these are horrible things, I will make them - come to the feast." And still, they blew off the feast.
So he said to the servant, "Go, hire entertainers to wander around my feast, minstrels and jugglers, and then they will want to come." And so the minstrels sang bawdy songs and jugglers juggled and there was much spectacle, yet they still did not come to the feast.
So the master said, "I know, we will offer a nice, new cart to one of the people who arrives - the chance to win a cart, that will draw them in." And a few people looked in, but once they realized their ticket wasn't a winner, they left.
While this was happening, the lowly servants told their fellow poor and miserable of the wonders at the feast, and so the poor and the lowly showed up at the door and said to the master, "Might we partake of your feast, and we will do for you what we can." The master looked at them with disdain and said, "Um, this is a good feast for good people. Sorry, there's no room for you."
While the cooking continued, the wondrous smells of the feast drifted out to the highways, and strangers from a distant land smelled the feast, and so they came to the masters house and inquired of him what the feast was. But the master of the feast said, "You aren't the target demographic my feasting committee had in mind, so I don't think it would be good for you to be here - why don't you figure out a feast-team-leader from amongst yourselves and do whatever he tells you - maybe we'll even give you some scraps later on." And still the master pined for those who would not come, and he spent ever more time and effort trying to entice them to come, and soon his feast became a carnival, then a cart wash, then a tavern, then a finnancial advice center, then a social justice center that ignored the poor, all in the hopes of bringing those three in. And the master was well pleased with all his efforts at reaching the lost.
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