Hymn Number 2 - Chief of Awesome

(This week 1 Timothy 1:12-17 is the Epistle, which gives us the classic hymn Chief of Sinners. This is not quite how it goes)

Chief of Awesome though I be
You can come to Church with Me
Just don't come into my pew
I don't want to talk to you
Let me have my holy time
Telling god I am so fine

Oh how worthy of his love
Are My works for god above
They have earned his favor now
I'll be blessed by him and how
Cause God knows I am so cool
See My stuff and start to drool

What is this you're still around?
Get back to your side of town.
You don't belong here with Me
I'm too good for you, you see.
Maybe when you make some cash
You'll be welcomed here at last.

Chief of awesome though I be
I'll chat condisendingly
with the folks who stop on by
unless their cash flow is high
Then eagerly bid them join
and donate a bit of coin

And so then My Church will grow
Filled with high and not the low
Just the best in town will do
Hoity-Toity through and through
See now how full are our vaults
In My own self-righteous cult

Not Quite Hymnal #1

Number 1 - Man Himself

Man himself is present
Let us now appease him
And with slick songs please him
Friendly stylish music
See the crowds now gather
This is what they'd rather
Like to hear in their ear
For their Sunday chill time
Soothing sounds are so fine.

Now it's the Gen X'ers
They want rocking music
Something that is "fresh, dope, and trip"
Thumpa, thumpa, thumpa
Hear the bass line driving
Mosh pits multiplying
Holy grunge, so much fun
Head bang now for Jesus
Man does this **** please us.

Then Chicago Folk mass
See the grey haired hippie
And the "peace-love" chicky
Did they light some incense?
Man it's kind of smokey
And now we've got the munchies
Flower child running wild
Trapsing down the aisle
Just another style.

What we do in worship
Doesn't really matter
If it's God we're after
Anything will work here
On a Sunday morning
Just don't make it boring
If it's not relevant
From my point of view
Then its day is through.


(The real hymn is God Himself is Present - a wonderful opening hymn for a Church service)